Gray divorce is a recent phenomenon in which couples who have been married for years pursue a divorce. Gray divorce generally refers to divorces that occur when the couple is over 50. What causes the couple to untie the knot after potentially decades of being married together? Sociologists, psychologists, and cultural experts have differing opinions when it comes to the reasons why those over 50 are divorcing in such high numbers.
A recent study published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships explored the experiences of 44 divorcees aged 60 and older and found that there is usually a two-phase process behind the timing of late-life divorces.
According to the study, the following are the reasons for divorces stemming from long-term marriages.
Staying together while growing apart
Researchers found that the first phase leading up to a gray divorce often involves long-term dissatisfaction with the marriage. According to the study, couples stay in the marriage even though they are dissatisfied with it. Ex-spouses reported that they grew apart due to infidelity, verbal abuse, and a feeling of being controlled by the other person. They also realized that they were incompatible due to differences of character. Lack of communication was a commonly cited problem. In many cases, the desire to personally grow led to distance between the couple.
One participant, known as Rachel, said her husband studied with 25-year-old girls and suddenly got a motorcycle driver’s license. Then, he wouldn’t come home. She cited betrayal and lies as a key reason that she wanted the divorce, but decided to stay with her husband for the sake of their daughter, who still lived at home. She said, “I really wanted to get a divorce a long, long time ago, but the argument was not to break up the family because there was a daughter who was at home.”
Realizing that the marriage must end
The second phase of gray divorce is realizing that the marriage must end. After years of marital distress, there are significant turning points that indicate that the marriage is not sustainable. These “points of no return” include specific events in the couple’s life. This includes public fights that put the couple’s relationship strain on display, amplified instances of marital or financial dishonesty, or extreme instances of physical, economic, or emotional abuse. These watershed moments often lead to a moment of clarity and decisiveness about getting divorced.
Talk to a Tampa, FL Divorce Lawyer Today
Considering pursuing a divorce in Tampa, FL? Then you should get hold of a qualified and experienced Tampa family lawyer today. Westchase Law, P.A. represents the interests of Tampa residents who are ready to untie the knot. We can help you with all aspects of your divorce including equitable distribution of the marital estate, alimony or spousal support, child custody, and child support. Call our office today and learn more about how we can help.