Parental kidnapping is the most extreme form of PAS. In most states, about 75 percent of missing children are abducted by a noncustodial parent. Usually, the kidnapping parents convince themselves that their former spouses are such bad parents that they must remove their children from these situations to keep their children safe.
A lesser form of the disorder also known as “parental brainwashing” and even “malicious mother syndrome” affects about one in five children. It comes in many forms, and parents who are going through a divorce should be on the lookout for all of them, because PAS can significantly damage the relationship between a noncustodial parent and a child, and also serve as evidence that a caregiver may not be an effective co-parent.
If you feel that the other parent is trying to drive an emotional wedge between you and a child, the situation is serious, because the emotional damage is usually permanent. Nevertheless, don’t take the matter into your own hands. Instead, work with a Tampa family law attorney to resolve the problem without causing long-term emotional damage to the child both parents love so much.
Symptoms
PAS can sometimes be quite direct. Although most judges typically issue orders for a parent not to berate the other parent in the presence or hearing of the children, many parents ignore this warning. They may say things like “your father abandoned you” or “your mother doesn’t love you” or “your father only cares about his new girlfriend.”
Indirect PAS is even worse. Many times, the parents do not even realize that they are, in effect, brainwashing their own children. For example, a parent may use a child as an emotional confidant. Such behavior places an undue burden on the child, because kids really cannot handle that kind of pressure. Other parents may give children special privileges, like a later bedtime, a lax curfew or a private bedroom. Such perks create distance between the child and the noncustodial parent.
What to Do
As mentioned, PAS is often unintentional and indirect. In these cases, a polite yet firm letter from a lawyer to a parent might encourage a wayward parent to change his/her ways.
A motion to enforce is usually a bad idea. It is rare for a judge to directly intervene in these situations, because PAS is very difficult to prove in court. Even if you have adult witnesses who are seemingly neutral, such as teachers or coaches, the proceeding can quickly degenerate into a “he said, she said” exchange.
So, the best approach may be to file a motion to modify custody or visitation. That motion may be unsuccessful, but even if it is, the judge will most likely appoint a social worker to investigate the matter.
Family therapists are familiar with PAS in all its forms, and they fully appreciate the danger it poses. If PAS is an issue in your relationship with your children, talk to your Tampa family law attorney and then, if the two of you think it is appropriate, bring it up with the social worker assigned to your case.
Connect With a Detail-Oriented Hillsborough County Lawyer
Divorce and other matters involve significant financial and emotional issues. For a confidential consultation with an experienced family law attorney in Tampa, contact Westchase Law P.A. Virtual and after-hours appointments are available.
Source:
ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/196466.pdf