Many individuals like to believe that all marriages will be an eternal life of bliss and love, but according to the American Psychological Association half of marriages in the United States ends in divorce.
According to James Sexton, author of “If You’re In My Office, It’s Already Too Late” in his interview with Vox, many divorces start up with minuscule arguments that eventually build up and splinter a relationship over time. Sexton suggests that talking ‘thoughtfully’ about certain issues in the relationship can help mend many wounds the couple is currently going through.
In an interview with NBC News Sexton says, “We don’t have a conversation about how we’re going to have a conversation in a marriage, and I think very often that results in people not knowing what’s a big thing, what’s a little thing, what’s a way to bring up the big things? What’s a way to bring up the little things?”
Sexton goes on to use an example from one couple, which he said the husband would make little jokes about the wife’s weight after having children. What the husband thought was just jokes started to poke and nag at the wife more and more.
“He thought he was being playful but, in reality, these were really cutting to her,” Sexton said. “And of course, as a reaction to it, when someone hurts us, we are very often inclined to hurt them back or we just don’t feel as affectionate towards them and it creates distance.”
Using this kind of language towards a spouse can lead to a disconnect and loss of affection in a relationship.
To remedy this, you should:
– Read your partner and see what is hurting them
– Figure out why you are in the argument in the first place
– Praise your partner when they do something good instead of criticizing
– Send them an email or text that will give them time to reflect on your message instead of confronting them head on
If your marriage has reached a point where communication cannot be corrected and you and your spouse have irreconcilable differences, you can still approach your divorce gracefully. Contact the experienced divorce lawyers of Westchase Law today to help walk you through your options and protect your rights and best interests.